Dear Ebby: My friend's husband hit on me... Do I tell her?

Dear Ebby,

My best friend of 17 years is married and recently her husband flat out told me that he wanted to **** me. He has always been flirty even while my friend is around and I was a little uncomfortable with it in the first place. But I figured if my friend didn't mind then I wouldn't make it a big deal. So now, this has clearly gone way past flirting and I want to tell my friend about it. But you know how that goes... She might not believe me and try and play it off like he was just joking or it'll be me that's made out to be the whore. So do you think I should tell her? And if so, how do I bring it up?

Signed,

Xxxxxx



Dear Xxxxxx,

SMH... This type of situation really sucks. Because, like you said what if your friend doesn't believe you? I do think that you should tell her though. First of all, you both have been friends for some time and I would hope that she knows you well enough to know that you wouldn't lie to her. Also, you don't want this to come back on you in the future. What if later on down the line he tells her that you were the one hitting on him? Or what if he's being inappropriate with her other friends and they tell her, then you say, "oh yeah, he tried that with me too". She'll want to know why you, being her best friend, never told her. So, maybe invite her out for lunch (and some wine) and bring someone with you, maybe your mom or someone who can serve as a support to both of you and then just say it. After you tell her, you may want to take some time away from the situation and stay away from their home for a bit. Because you have to appreciate that your friend is going to be confused, hurt, angry, you name it-so give her some time to think and regroup. Be there if she needs you, but you both will definitely need some time and room to think. 

So, here's a big hug (squeeze). Take a deep breath lovey... It's gonna be fine.

Love,

Ebby